THE FIVE LEVELS OF SELF-TALK

Levels I and II hasn’t worked, stop using it!

What is Self-Talk and how does it work? The definition of Self-Talk can be simply stated: Self-Talk is a way to override our past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with conscious, positive new direc­tions. Self-Talk is a practical way to live our lives by active intent rather than by passive acceptance.

With Self-Talk, we have a way to give new directions to our subconscious minds by talking to ourselves in a different way, consciously reprogramming our internal control centers with words and statements which are more effective, more helpful to every part of us that we would like to improve. The Self-Talk statements paint a new internal picture of ourselves as we would most like to be.

Self-Talk gives each of us a way to change what we would like to change, even if we haven’t been able to do so in the past. It offers us the chance to stop being the old self and start to become a different, better self, a self which is no longer the product of conditioned response but governed instead by personal choice.

Actually, there are several kinds of self-talk. Each of us, each day, may use any of five different levels of self-talk. Each level is specific and distinct from the others. Some of the levels work for us and some work against us. The more you know about each of them, the faster and more easily you will be able to master using the right kind of Self-Talk for yourself.

LEVEL I SELF-TALK— THE LEVEL OF NEGATIVE ACCEPTANCE (“I can’t. . .”)

The five levels of self-talk start at the lowest, least bene­ficial level. At the bottom of the list—and the most harmful self-talk we can use—is Level I, the level of Negative Acceptance. That is self-talk by which you say something bad or negative about yourself, and you accept it.

Earlier we discussed several dozen commonly used: self-talk statements and phrases. All of them were Level-1 self-talk. This level is easy to spot. It is most always characterized by the words, “I can’t. . .’’ or “if only I could …” or “I wish I could, but I can’t,” and so on. All Level I self-talk works against us. And unfortunately, it is the most frequently used self-talk of all!

“I just don’t have the energy I used to,” “I could never do that,” “I just can’t seem to lose weight,” ’Well… I just don’t know.’ “Today’s just not my day,” and “I just can’t!” are typical of the kinds of doubts, fears, mis­givings, and hesitations we program ourselves with

when we say any Level I self-talk phrase to ourselves, t loud, silently, or to someone else. Remember, the subconscious mind is listening and waiting for our instructions, and it doesn’t care what we tell it; it just es it!

Level I self-talk represents everything from our simplest misgivings to the worst fears we have about our- Ives. It is our way of telling ourselves to hesitate, question our capabilities, and accept less than we know I could have done, had we only given ourselves a chance. It is our way of timidly hiding in the shadows instead of boldly thriving in the sunshine.

There is no way to estimate the amount of havoc and misdirection that Level I self-talk wreaks in our es. It clutters, blocks, and confuses. It turns self-assurance into self-doubt and chaos. It cripples our best intentions and seduces us into becoming satisfied with mediocrity. It is the heart of a “get by” attitude, its subtle whispers telling us to passively accept a fate far less eat than we had once dreamed of attaining. It is the mythical Siren which draws us onto the shore, dashing our hopes on reefs of despair and complacency.

Imagine going through your life using that kind of self-talk on yourself! When you think about it, why would anyone (once they know) want to use any self-talk that would program them to fail or do less than they could? :t, that is exactly what most of us have done.

It makes no difference how harmless the words seem at the time; they are the backbone of everything which works against us and stands in our way. Rid your-self of the negative “I cants” of Level I self-talk, and you will have rid yourself of your greatest foe.

LEVEL II SELF-TALK— THE LEVEL OF RECOGNITION, AND NEED TO CHANGE

(“I need to … I should . . .”)

This level is beguiling. On the surface it looks as though it should work for us. But instead, it works against us! In this level of self-talk, we are starting to ourselves and to others our recognition of our need to change.

Level II self-talk is characterized by words such as, “I need to … “, or “I ought to …” or “I should .. ..’’ Why does that work against us? Because it recognizes a problem but creates no solution. When you say to yourself (or to someone else), “I really need to get more organized,” what are you really saying? You are saying, “I really need to get more organized … but I’m not!” When you complete the sentence, it is always, unconsciously, ended with an unspoken, but still programmed, Level I statement of neg­ative self-talk!

“I really should try to get to work on time.” “I’ve just got to lose some weight!” “I really need to cut down on my smoking.’’ “I’ve got to do something about that!” “I real­ly ought to take more time with my kids.” “I know I should study harder.” Anytime you hear yourself telling yourself any Level II self-talk, stop for a moment and com­plete the sentence—finish, out loud, the program you are actually directing to your subconscious mind.

Your self-talk then becomes, “I’d really like to earn more income … but I’m not! I wish I could … but I can’t! I know I need to take care of that… but I’m not taking care of it. I ought to call home more often … but I don’t. 75 I’d like things to work out better … but they won’t!”

Those are the directives we unwittingly give to our­selves. Those are the seemingly innocent but exception­ally effective programs we feed to the most powerful control center known to man. Instead of giving birth to dreams and accomplishment, Level II self-talk creates guilt, disappointment, and an acceptance of our own self-imagined inadequacies. Is that good programming? No, it is not. Will it help us succeed? No, it will not.

LEVEL III SELF-TALK— THE LEVEL OF DECISION TO CHANGE (“I never … I no longer . . .”)

Level III Self-Talk is the first level of Self-Talk that works for you instead of against you. In this level you recog­nize the need to change, but also you make the decision to do something about it—and you state the decision in the “present tense”—as though the change has already taken place.

Level III is characterized by the words, ‘I never … or “I no longer.” In this level you say, “I never smoke! ”I no longer have a problem dealing with people at work.” “I never eat more than I should.” “I never get upset in traffic.” “I no longer put off doing anything I want to get done. “When you move to Level III, you are automatical­ly beginning to rephrase old negative “cannot,” putting them behind you, and stating them in a positive new way’ that tells your subconscious mind to wake up, get moving, and make the change.

76 When you begin to practice the new Self-Talk for yourself, you will find that you will need to use Level III Self-Talk only on those occasions when you are work­ing at effecting a specific change.

Let’s use the example of someone who smokes, but who really wants to quit. If you have been a smoker, and want to quit, you may want to try this yourself. Let’s say that you smoke, but you finally decide that you want to stop smoking for good. So, you begin by using Level III Self-Talk. You say to yourself, “I never smoke!” “I no longer enjoy smoking and I have quit.” You use your new Sell-Talk silently to yourself, but you also say it out loud, even when you are with other people. Until now, when you felt like lighting a cigarette, you would simply do so, think nothing about it, and say nothing about it.

But now, when you light a cigarette, you say out loud. “I never smoke. “The first thing that will happen is that if you say those words in front of someone else, while you are lighting your cigarette, your friends are going to think you’re a little strange! But you continue to say the words, both to yourself and out loud. And for a while, you continue to smoke, just as you have become conditioned to smoking, but you also continue to give yourself new Self-Talk at the same time— “I never smoke … I no longer smoke …,” etc.

In not too long a time, what will happen? One day you will be lighting a cigarette and saying, “I never smoke,” and your subconscious mind is going to say, “Then what are you doing with that little white thing in your hand? … And one end of it is on fire.’” You have been giving new programming to your subconscious, telling yourself that you no longer need to smoke. And your subconscious mind will automatically react by making sure that you no longer smoke! That’s what you have started telling it to do!

There is, of course, more to Self-Talk than just a few simple words. Many habits, including smoking, have been years in the making and require a solid program of new Self-Talk to break them down and replace them. (How to do that is discussed in a later chapter.)

It doesn’t make any difference that you’re still a smoker when you start telling your subconscious that you no longer smoke. Remember, the subconscious mind will believe anything you tell it if you tell it long enough and strongly enough. It will simply go to work to carry out its new directives. Your subconscious mind will receive a new direction, create a new, nonsmoking picture of you in your control center, and convince you to put the cigarette out. You no longer smoke! That’s exactly what you told your subconscious mind; that’s exactly what it will do. When the new programming takes over it won’t be the result of magic, hypnosis, meditation, or luck. That’s just the way the mind works. It works because you tell it what to do. Learn to say it in the right way, and it will do it.

LEVEL IV—THE LEVEL OF THE BETTER YOU (“I am …”)

This is the most effective kind of Self-Talk we can ever use. In our Self-Talk vocabularies, Level IV is the kind of Self-Talk that has been used the least and is needed most. It is at this level that you are painting a completely new picture of yourself, the way you really wanted to be, handing it to your subconscious, and saying, ‘This is the me I want you to create! Forget all that bad programming I gave you in the past. This is your new program. Now let’s get to work at it!”

Level IV Self-Talk is characterized by the words, ‘I am …” “1 am organized and in control of my life. I am a win­ner! I am healthy, energetic, enthusiastic, and I’m going for it! Nothing can stop me now. I like who I am. 1 am in tune, on top, and in touch, I have determination, drive, and self-belief. 1 am living the lite I choose, and I choose what’s right!” Now, the ex-smoker in Level IV would say, T don’t smoke! My lungs are clean and healthy. I have no habits which harm me or hold me back in any way.”

Instead of struggling with the past Level I Self-Talk, the Level IV Self-Talker deals with problems and opportunities in a whole new, productive, self-activating way: The past procrastinator, who had been programmed to put things off, now says, “I do everything I need to do when I need to do it. I enjoy getting things done and 1 enjoy doing things on time and in just the right way! ’The past problem is turned around to begin creating ongoing daily success. Instead of saying, “I can never remember names,” the Level TV Self-Talker automatically says, “I have a great memory! People are important to me, and I am able to remember any name I choose to remember, anytime I want.”

Level IV Self-Talk is the positive Self-Talk that is the opposite of Level I. It replaces helpless “cannot” with vibrant “Yes, I can!” Level IV Self-Talk inspires, encour­ages, urges, and implores. It tugs at our hearts, touches our hopes, and paints in the pictures that color our dreams. It excites, demands, and pushes us forward. It strengthens the armor of our spirit and hardens the steel of our determination. This is the Self-Talk that challenges us to do battle with our fears and end up the victor. It is the Self-Talk which stirs us to action, fills us up with self-belief, and plants our feet firmly on the solid bedrock of success.

Name the adversary, state the problem, and you can find the self-talk that created it. But for every word of negative self-talk that has ever been uttered, there is the right kind of Self-Talk to counter it, reprogram, fix the problem, and make it right.

There are hundreds of examples, already written, of this special, powerful, reprogramming Level IV Self-Talk: “/ am a winner! I believe in myself. I respect myself and I like who I am. I have made the decision to win in my life and that’s what I’m doing!” Can you imagine going through the rest of your life with that kind of Self-Talk on your side? Think of the program­ming that kind of direction would create. It is yours for the taking. It is yours the moment you decide to choose a better way. You deserve the best out of life. Perhaps it’s time to do something about it.

LEVEL V SELF-TALK— THE LEVEL OF UNIVERSAL AFFIRMATION (“It is …”)

This level of Self-Talk has been spoken for thousands of years. It is as old as the ancient religions which inspired it. It is the Self-Talk of “oneness” with God. This level of Self-Talk speaks of a unity of spirit, a divine and timeless cosmic affinity which transcends all worldly things and gives meaning to our being. It is the language of those who, having conquered their ties to a life of earth- bound demands, choose to seek their manifest place in something greater—something beyond the ken of most others, but within the reach of their unearthly dreams. This is the Self-Talk for seekers, still living among mankind, but anxious to find a greater reward.

Level V Self-Talk is characterized by the words, “It is …” It sounds like this: “I am one with the universe and it is one with me. I am of it, within it, and exist as a shin­ing spark in a firmament of divine goodness.”

They are beautiful words, and they are meaningful. But lest I sound as though I am giving this level of Self-Talk less than its due, let me say only that those whose quest has placed them at this level already know they don’t need to read this book to learn that Self-Talk, to them, “affirmations,” will serve as mantras to help them achieve their rather special goals.

It is still important, however, that we take care today of the things that are required today So I urge you to begin to use the Self-Talk of Level III and Level IV. If it’s right, Level V will come in due time. For now, learn the Self-Talk that will get you to work on time, help you fix your family ties, give yourself the self-image you deserve, and get the basic things in this life in order.

YOU CAN BEGIN RIGHT NOW

There are two levels of Self-Talk which you should learn first—and two others which you should unlearn fast. Starting right now, the moment you recognize why the self-talk you have used at Levels I and II hasn’t worked, stop using it! There’s no reason to use it any longer. Replace those two negative kinds of self-talk with the Self-Talk of Levels III and IV.

If you’d like to start working at it right now, reread the section on Level II and start learning Self-Talk for your­self. That’s the Self-Talk that will get you going, change what you want to change, and get you headed on a jour­ney that will take you toward the fulfillment of your dreams and away from the frustrating roadblocks that have been standing in your way. In a later chapter, you will be given step-by-step directions on how to start using the new Self-Talk automatically and unconsciously.

For now, just listen to anything you may be saying to yourself that could be working against you, turn it around, and start using the Self-Talk that works for you.

CHAPTER NINE – WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF